How Your Strong Marriage Just Might Help Your Kids Succeed in Life
Wasn’t Charlie Kirk’s memorial service breathtaking?
More than 200,000 people showed up at the stadium, which held only 73,000, with an overflow arena also needed for this once-in-a-lifetime gathering. The dress was Sunday best, with red, white, and blue, and some who were there described a palpable spirit of unity and peace, marked by beautiful worship and speaker after speaker who honored Charlie and the God who was central to his life.
Then, when his young widow, Erika, took the stage, she forgave the man who killed her husband. It was astounding. A holy moment.
Given the gravity of it, many may not remember some of the other things she shared, including some beautiful details about her relationship with Charlie that I’ll never forget. As we explore how maintaining a strong marriage can help your kids succeed in life, we thought it timely to include a few of the insights Erika shared about marriage – and her life with Charlie.
“My marriage with Charlie was the best thing that ever happened to me, and I know it was the best thing that ever happened to him as well. He wanted everyone to experience that joy. And that’s what’s so beautiful about God’s design for marriage – everyone can.”
Erika Kirk, September 21, 2025
How’s Your Marriage?
Is your marriage a joy? Is it thriving or is it distant? No criticism here. Just consider where you are right now – and where you’d like to be.
Think back to the day you took your vows. Your hair and dress were perfect – your groom gazed at you with such deep love in his eyes that it may have taken your breath away as you walked down the aisle. That day held promise and hope, with beautiful dreams for sunset walks and starlit nights.
Then, after some wildly romantic days, weeks, or even months, things started getting a bit real.
Not bad, necessarily – just real.
Bills came due, somebody had to make dinner, and underwear and socks were strewn about the apartment. You scurried past laundry piled on the couch, hoping to reach the bathroom in time. Morning sickness.
One, two, or maybe five babies later, and your relationship with your husband may have started to feel a bit strained. Lugging a big diaper bag everywhere, you may have had only vague memories of what it felt like to wear makeup, or a dress and heels. For most of us during this stage, the bar was set pretty low. We were satisfied if we could find a clean t-shirt without spit-up on the shoulder and a ponytail holder for the messy bun. Your husband was busy, and distracted – and you were bone-tired.
I hope you feel seen. Our kids are our joy and priceless blessings, still, we carry a lot during those years.
“Be virtuous. Our strength is found in God’s design for our role. We are the guardians. We are the encouragers. We are the preservers. Guard your heart. Everything you do flows from it. And if you’re a mother, please recognize that is the single most important ministry you have.”
Erika Kirk, September 21, 2025
Strong Marriage, Blessed Kids
When I asked above, how your marriage is doing, don’t be ashamed if you’ve hit a dry spot or worse. In the busyness of parenthood, careers, and survival mode, thoughts of a romantic dinner or strolls in the moonlight are far away, as the thumping chaos of home life takes center stage.
It’s a challenge, I know. We’re all mamas here. Keeping your marriage strong is beneficial for both of you —and also gives your kids the edge in life, according to a report from the Family Scholars, “Why Marriage Matters, Third Edition.”1 These are a few of the benefits for kids raised in a home with a healthy marriage:
- Kids do better in school
- They are healthier and live longer
- They are less likely to drink or abuse drugs
- Kids and teens have less mental illness, with a lowered risk for suicide
- Boys are less likely to engage in criminal activity.
- They are less likely to become sexually active
- They are more likely to have successful marriages
As mothers, we work tirelessly to give our children everything we can. We teach and train, rush to soccer practice or ballet. Then there are the sleepless nights when one of our little ones is ill. We will do anything for them, right?
One of the absolute best gifts you can give them is treating your marriage like the priority it must be. Your marriage is worth the effort. Tending to and working to improve your relationship as a couple is great for your kids – but let’s face it, it’s something that will make your life better in so many ways.
“Someone once asked me how Charlie and I how we kept our marriage so strong when he was busy traveling, and our little secret – it was love notes. Every Saturday, Charlie wrote one for me, and he never missed a Saturday, and in every single one of them, he’d tell me what his highlight was for the week, how grateful he was for me and our babies, and…he would always end it with asking the most beautiful question… ‘Please let me know how I can serve you better as a husband.'”
Erika Kirk, September 21, 2025
Most of our marriages have seen times of crisis, with pain, illness, addiction, or disagreements. At the same time, for some, it’s a long-term relational drift that takes a toll on the relationship. Even if there’s no deep conflict, when a couple becomes disconnected, it can be hard to find a way back.
If any of those resonate, we want you to know that there is still hope. It will take both of you, and some uncomfortable conversations, perhaps, to break the ice if you’ve become distant. Then, the decision to make some changes as a couple. When you think the options are either to live in misery or divorce, we contend that there is a third option. Take Action.
Make Your Marriage Great Again
Here are a few ideas to consider:
- Keep Your Marriage in First Place
It comes second only to your relationship with God, of course. The kids, the extended family, and others must understand that nobody comes between the two of you. You are a team.
- Communicate and Listen Well
Make time to be face-to-face. Don’t scroll or multitask; instead, make sure your focus is on your spouse. Look into his eyes and truly listen. In the heat of parenthood, you may be pressed to find a few minutes to connect in this way. Look for this time and guard it.
- Say the Thing
If couples are disconnected, one spouse or the other may become hesitant to bring up something that needs attention. You may have to find a quiet moment, but communicate. Leaving things unsaid can lead to stress, frustration, and increased distance.
- Apologize and Forgive
It’s easy, as a married couple, to inadvertently remove “I’m sorry” from your vocabulary. If you did something that hurt or offended your spouse, big or small, offer a sincere apology (without excuses). It’s simple, but powerful. Also, forgive your spouse from the heart and try not to keep mental records of past wrongs. Ask God to help.
“There was no keeping score between us. We were a team. Working together for the same mission. I never wanted to be the one standing between Charlie and the task that God prepared for him. And I knew Charlie would always do his best to help me with the same.”
Erika Kirk, September 21, 2025
- Find Financial Peace
Budget, strategize, and build your money life together. Since financial concerns are a significant element of many divorces, plan to avoid debt and work together to ensure all the bases are covered for the family and future goals. It’s a two-person job to build a strong financial foundation – so don’t avoid money conversations.
- Date Each Other
If you’re no longer dating your spouse, start thinking of how to bring that back into your life. My husband and I had three little girls, and we swapped babysitting with friends from church who had three small sons. On Friday, we’d go out, and they’d have the girls over. On Saturday, it was their night, and the kids all gathered at our house for pizza and fun. Free babysitting, and a truly inexpensive, but needed time away together.
- Pray & Worship Together
Keep faith central. Take it all to God as a couple – the burdens, concerns, and decisions that weigh on you. It may be sleepy prayers before collapsing in bed or praying by phone during your commute, but make it a priority. Attend a local church regularly as a family.
“I was Charlie’s confidant. I was his vault. His closest and most trusted advisor, his best friend. I poured into him and loved him so deeply, empowered him, because his love for me drove me to be a better wife. Every day he honored me, and I prayed that I could be the wife that God needed me to be for my husband.”
Erika Kirk, September 21, 2025
- Dream Again
Marriage, parenting, careers, car repairs, health challenges, and the many madness-making details of family life can push out the aspirations that used to inspire you deep down inside. Take time, maybe on that date night, to dream again. Talk about what you hope for your future together. Things you’d like to do soon as a family – or farther flung ideas for when your kids have grown.
If Your Marriage Is Struggling
If you and your husband are having a hard time right now and the ideas above seem impossible, it’s time to seek outside help. Bring a Christian counselor or pastor into your hurting marriage to seek a way forward. In most cases, your marriage can be saved.
We would note that if abuse is present in your marriage, it must not be tolerated. Seek guidance immediately from a trained professional and ensure that you and your children are safe, whether by leaving and staying with a relative or seeking refuge in a women’s shelter. The National Domestic Abuse Hotline is 800-799-7233 or text BEGIN to 88788.2 Abuse is not okay – and you deserve better.
Organizations to Help with Resources or Counseling Referrals:
- Focus on the Family3
- XO Marriage4
- Family Life Today5
- Financial Peace University – Ramsey Solutions6
- Crown Financial Ministries7
- Christian Counselors Network8
- Hope Restored9
It’s important to note that mention of these resources and organizations does not imply endorsement by Moms for America.
Don’t Give Up
Don’t just survive your marriage, dare to hope that your relationship could be stronger – and even transformed. God can change hearts and lives in ways that seem impossible. If you are both willing to build a new life together, it will bless you and give your children the strength and solid foundation for a more successful future.
“The greatest cause in Charlie’s life was trying to revive the American family. When he spoke to young people, he was always eager to tell them about God’s vision for marriage – and how, if they could just dare to live it out, it would enrich every part of their life in the same way it enriched ours.” 10
Erika Kirk, September 21, 2025
Podcast Note: We were thrilled to discuss the captivating book, Remembering the Ladies: True Stories of the Women Who Wove a Nation, written by our own President of Moms for America, Kimberly Fletcher and her daughter, Cassie Fletcher, our Executive Director of Membership & Education.
2 The National Domestic Abuse Hotline
6 Financial Peace University – Ramsey Solutions
8 Christian Counselors Network
10 CBN.com Full Transcript, Erika Kirk Speech, September 21, 2025
***
