Six Traits to Help Your Kids Be Resilient, Resourceful, and Strong
What are your impressions of Gen Z?
We do tend to embrace stereotypes of them, Millennials, and even “Boomers.” It’s not really fair.
Gen Z has been accused of excessive gaming and video scrolling, social media overload, and living too long in parents’ basements. It may be true in some cases. There may even be some among the government employees who seem to be missing in action as Elon Musk, and DOGE seek signs of life for millions of government workers.
It’s not that hard. Just list five things you did last week. As moms, we can list five things we did in the previous hour, am I right?
In our family, we have one Gen Z daughter, one Millennial, and 1 positioned right on the line between the two (I told her she gets to choose her generation). I am thankful to say that mine – and many others, don’t fit those stereotypical criticisms.
In fact, many moms can say that their young adults are working hard and not giving up as they go after God’s will for their careers and future families. And though my three would enthusiastically concur that their dad and I made plenty of mistakes, we’ve learned that there are a few things you can nurture in your kids’ lives when they are young to give them an edge when they are grown. That’s why this week, we’re tackling six traits to help your kids be resilient, resourceful, and strong.
Trait #1 Smarts
A good education can be a key to future success for your young ones. From their earliest memory, they should know that learning is a priority in your family.
Whether your kids are navigating the choppy waters of public or private school or being taught at home, you can have an enormous impact on their experience and outcomes. And you are needed now more than ever.
President Trump recently reported that the US is at the bottom of the list among nations regarding education. We’re at like 40. Sad. We hold the #1 spot for one thing – how much we spend per pupil. Also, sad. We’re spending more than anybody for substandard results. We can do better and know Trump’s Cabinet and DOGE are on the case.
In the meantime, though, as moms, we must be intentional when it comes to the education of our children. It’s a good idea to hold them close whether they are homeschoolers or at public, private, or charter schools. As parents, we have the right and obligation to stay on top of everything happening. We can fill in the gaps, speak into classroom work, and protect them from harm if the need arises. Here are a few things that could help your kids succeed at school.
- Identify their Learning Style. I like Cynthia Tobias’ work in this area. She was featured on a Focus on the Family broadcast, “Discovering Your Child’s Learning Style,” and wrote the book The Way They Learn.1
- Seek Help. If your kiddo struggles in math, make sure you help them make up that deficit by providing a tutor or some extra practice at home.
- Stay in Touch. Communicate with your child’s teacher(s) because engaging as a parent can forge a partnership and give your student the boost needed to succeed. It’s also a good way to know what’s happening in the classroom. Remember President Reagan’s words, “Trust, but verify.”
- Review Schoolwork Together. Talk with your child about their day, letting them know you have their back and are there to help.
- Don’t Settle. It’s appropriate for you to hold the school accountable. No matter where they attend, it’s not free. Your hard-earned tax dollars are footing that bill. If your children aren’t getting a quality education, consider choosing another school or homeschooling.
- Patriotic Education. If your school is deficient in proper history and civics (which many are), you can get involved with our Cottage Meetings for Kids or Cottage Meetings for Teens, and join them in learning the beautiful truth about our great nation’s history and our Constitution.
Trait #2 Stamina
We live in Colorado, and whenever it snows, there’s this little boy – maybe 9 or 10, who knocks on our door, asking us to hire him to shovel our driveway. My husband and I love to employ this young man to save our aching backs and because he is learning the value of hard work. We love that for him. He’s fighting through freezing conditions, wind, and physical challenges to earn his pay. He’s way ahead at becoming resilient, resourceful, and STRONG. He is rewarded with the agreed-upon fee, a tip, and sometimes a hot chocolate to-go. What a champ!
Let your kids work and work hard, whether for a financial reward or just because they are part of your family, and family members pitch in and help. The leaves must be raked, the dishwasher needs emptying, and the dog needs a bath. Don’t worry if the project is long or complicated. It could be gold in your child’s life as they develop character, determination, and tenacity.
Trait #3 Service
Somewhat related to the hard work that builds stamina, service teaches your children to look outward to help others. It’s not about a reward for those who serve; it’s about considering those in need.
Model service by volunteering as a family at your church or when your city has opportunities. It’s a great way to learn gratitude for their blessings when your kids have the chance to give of their time for the benefit of others. Ask around for ideas like helping the elderly, serving at a local mission, or doing yard work for a struggling neighbor. We were blessed with this kindness during my husband’s chemo treatments last year.
Another way to serve is to go on a short-term mission trip. Your kids may be too young right now, but if you have teens ready for such an adventure, it can mark them for life with a new and lasting perspective.
Hard work – especially for others- can help your kids develop the muscles of resilience, tenacity, and compassion.
Trait #4 Social
Being social is becoming a lost art. If you were raised before the internet, nobody had to tell you to “be social.” It’s how we lived. However, kids are in danger of missing out on learning to relate to others and all the benefits of friendships and group interactions.
Model the importance of this by abandoning your phone to give undivided attention to those you love – especially your kids. They must learn to look others in the eye, communicate clearly, tell jokes, and laugh deeply with family and friends.
We all need each other, and developing a social life will help them relate when they are ready to strike out into the world after high school. Social skills can be a game-changing asset in their personal and career lives.
Consider:
- Non-cell phone activities. Maybe nix the smartphones at dinner or at a specific time each day to learn to appreciate the fellowship of family time.
- Teach relational etiquette. It’s surprising how many don’t know how to engage in polite conversation. When and how to properly shake a hand. What about the importance of making eye contact? It seems obvious to us, however, many of our kids are missing the boat on these simple things.
- Host their friends. It’s messy and loud, but encourage your kids to have friends over. Have a game, craft, or movie night. Purchase some pizza and sodas and let them enjoy. And if your kids and their friends are anything like mine were, add earplugs to the shopping list. You’ll thank me later.
- Attend Stuff. It’s too easy to stay home to spend hours gaming or online scrolling. Encourage your teen to be involved with the youth group at church or attend football games, Young Life at school, or other groups that share common interests.
Trait #5 Strategy & Adapting
A good strategy can be a blueprint for success. Whether it’s helping your child plan a project for a science fair or how to reorganize their chaotic bedroom – strategizing is key.
I’ve tried to teach my children to plan for success in our home. Whatever the challenge, there is a way to strategize the best option for a good outcome. Of course, we can’t guarantee a strategy will work every time, so we’ve also taught them to adapt to changing circumstances. We wanted them to have the tenacity to create a “plan B” when things hadn’t gone how they hoped. This skill is best “caught” from a parent who’s mastered it in their life (rather than taught).
We are blessed to be able to fly standby when we travel because of a sweet relative who works for an airline and shares her extra passes with our family. Most of the time, our trip happens without a hitch – but sometimes, we aren’t able to board a full flight. That’s where my kids have seen my husband, and I maintain a positive attitude and look for the next option. Seeking a way forward rather than spending too much time wallowing in disappointment has helped my kids learn to look for a way forward in other areas of life.
Nobody wants to be stuck. Learning to create a solid strategy and adapt if needed are hallmarks of resilient and resourceful individuals who refuse to give up.
Trait #6 Spiritual Strength
A strong and resilient faith can pull it all together for your kids. Knowing who they are – that they were fearfully and wonderfully made by the God who “knows the plans He has” for them can help with confidence, courage, and hope.
Life will have plenty of challenges and a good dose of pain. Giving your family the truth that they are never alone is the most valuable thing you can offer.
Be sure that your relationship with God is alive and central in your life, and you’ll be able to give them this gift. Get involved in a good church, and read the Bible for yourself and with the family. Pray regularly on your own and with your kids. When they face challenges, if you teach them to bring them to God, hopefully, they will continue the practice after leaving your home. And since we know that “the prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective” (James 5:6), it is a recipe for strength and peace in their lives.
As moms, we are privileged to raise the next generation of patriotic Americans. Despite what other families do – or don’t do – for their kids, you can help yours develop well-toned muscles of resilience, resourcefulness, and strength. Your children are the leaders of tomorrow, and our nation needs what they’ll be able to offer after you’ve instilled these powerful traits into the lives of your little ones.
Podcast Note: Have you heard of Sister Dede Byrne? She is an extraordinary figure, embodying courage, sacrifice, service, skill, and resilient faith. Beyond her sacred office, Sr. Dede is an accomplished surgeon who served during wartime, attained the rank of Colonel, and ministered on September 11th at Ground Zero. She even served as a personal physician to Mother Teresa and saved babies by helping mothers with the abortion pill reversal. This week, we got to know her better during our conversation with her biographer, Leisa Marie Carzon, who wrote Sister, Soldier, Surgeon: The Life and Courage of Sister Deirdre Byrne, M.D. about her extraordinary life, revealing the reason President Trump dubbed her “an American hero.”
***
