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5 Ways a Mom Can Boost Her Potential - Without Going Crazy - Newsletter Blog - Moms for America

MFA Weekly Newsletter

5 Ways a Mom Can Boost Her Potential - Without Going Crazy - Newsletter Blog - Moms for America
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Sep 10, 2023

5 Ways a Mom Can Boost Her Potential – Without Going Crazy

It’s an age-old question: Can you have it all?

What is “it,” anyway?

Is it an Instagram-worthy marriage, children, friends, career… with a social life?

Is it showing men that we have just as much upward mobility, focused on a career path as we also run a home, manage the kids’ schedules, and still have energy for more?

Some of you are already spinning those plates, and once in a while, one crashes to the ground. You must stop everything, grab the broom and dustpan and then restart the feat of skill, agility, and mental calisthenics all over again.

And that’s just a regular Monday.

We know we’re juggling – but we try to keep things going, hoping at the end of the day, everyone is fed, homework is done, email for work is completed, and everyone (including mom) made it out alive. And it’s rarely Instagram perfection – am I right?

Back in 1985, an editor from Cosmopolitan magazine wrote a bestseller in which she promised to mentor her readers to achieve what her book title promised: Having it All: Love, Success, Sex, Money. Helen Gurley Brown was a protégé of free-love, second-wave feminism and hocked her guarantee that women could do it all and have it all. It was a prosperity gospel for the faithful Cosmo girls of the 80’s. Downplaying the traditional roles women had filled in raising the next generation, she promised happiness via money, power, and a man – or multiple men.

Then, 2012 brought a new voice from feminism in a lauded cover story for The Atlantic. Anne-Marie Slaughter took a more sober look at the idea of “having it all” in light of her own experiences serving in the Obama administration while attempting to long-distance mother her two pre-teen sons. “Why Women Still Can’t Have It All”1 dispelled the feminist promise that women can expertly navigate career and family while clawing their way up the man-dominated corporate chain. It was considered revolutionary thought for a feminist to place such a high value on child-rearing.

For most American moms, we didn’t need a highly-placed academic to tell us that there are things more important than careers. But does that mean you’ll never get to use that business, law, culinary, political science, communications, or marketing degree? Prioritizing motherhood can cause some to feel that their gifts and skills have been put in dry dock while raising littles. You may be holding down a nine-to-five, homeschooling, or doing side gigs to try to make ends meet around your family’s needs.

Regardless of where you are on the mythical “having it all” spectrum, we want to share six ways a mom can boost her potential – without going crazy!

#1 Embrace the Season

Understanding the season is vital to your success and well-being.

If you have tiny ones underfoot, you are busy – I mean busy. It’s a blur of keeping everyone safe, dry, fed and grabbing the occasional shower. It’s a messy-bun, sticky-fingered, exhausting time, but it’s your season, mama. Celebrate it as much as you can and memorize every moment. Don’t vex yourself about your currently worthless college diploma. Life is made of seasons; this one is where you should be.

Try not to compare yourself with others who have cute business wear, lunch dates, and manicures – that’s their season. You are doing a lofty and world-changing service in raising your little ones.

Remember that passage from Ecclesiastes 3? “There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under heaven…”

I was able to stay home with my kiddos for more than a decade before returning to the workplace out of financial necessity. During those years of toys cluttering the living room, gymnastics practice, art club, and school, I wondered if I’d ever write again. Seasons change, leaves fall and suddenly, the moment arrived to pick up the pen again. Whatever your passion, calling, or ambition – if you embrace the season you are in – later you’ll recognize when the time is right to dive back in again.

#2 Know Your Worth

Increasingly, in our cultural climate, women are denigrated. Everywhere you look, messages are blurring the value of females. Men are taking over women’s athletics as TikTok videos smear romance and marriage, children, and faith. Anti-natalists (yes, that’s a thing) believe that not having children should be the standard. Procreating, in their view, harms humans, animals, and the environment. Meanwhile, the weirdness has taken over children’s movies. For example, reports surfaced that Disney’s upcoming live-action Snow White movie presents a heroine who isn’t saved by the prince and isn’t longing for true love. Instead, she wants to fulfill her leadership potential. “That should be way better than the original,” said no one – ever.

Put down the phone and quiet culture’s screeching negativism and lean into the truth about you.

You were made for this time, mama. You are the only one perfectly prepared to raise your children. You are irreplaceable. You have a voice, even while your kids are young. You are speaking truth and teaching them lessons about life, our nation, our God, and so much more. You give them the confidence of knowing who they are, protecting them from those who would target them for destruction. Your input matters with their teachers, school administration, and school board meetings.

The bottom line is this: you are impacting the world in ways you cannot fathom. You are a world-changer.

#3 Eat the Elephant One Bite at a Time

To boost your potential, approach a chaotic list of ‘to-dos’ by organizing things. Remember the weird question, “How do you eat an elephant?” Let’s say it together: “One bite at a time.”

It sounds like an oversimplification, but in many ways, it isn’t.

On any given evening, you may have a report to complete before an 8 a.m. meeting at work; meanwhile, your daughter needs a ride to and from play practice. Tonight is also taco Tuesday – so there’s that, and your youngest has the croup. In your peripheral vision, you notice two baskets of unfolded laundry on the couch. My right eye is twitching as I write this. I feel for you – and me!

So, this is where you strategize. There’s just no way to stuff the entire pachyderm into your mouth. Just do one thing at a time. Make things bite-sized. Instead of looking at the whole scene, consider just one thing you need to do first and do it.

Also, rethink the situation. Can your husband help with the tacos or the driving? Or maybe the tacos turn into delivery pizza night? Put off the report writing until after the last kiddo hits the sack. And please – we all know the laundry can actually wait until tomorrow.

Whatever you do, do it one at a time. It’s that simple, though it’s not always pretty. When my kids were little, someone told me, “They won’t remember whether your house was clean or messy, but they will remember the time you spent with them.” Now, with my three grown, I can attest. I’ve always wanted a perfectly kept home, but I got something better – thriving relationships with my young adults.

#4 Rally the Troops

I’ll admit it. When it came to my family, especially when the kids were young, I was the worst at delegating. The worst. I did everything and didn’t trust anyone else to do it right.

Teach your kids to carry part of the load. Sure, when they are toddlers, you’re just teaching, and it takes twice as long, but when they are a few years older, it turns to gold. Then you have kids who can empty and load the dishwasher, trash cans, and dust.

The bonus is you’ll eventually release capable, responsible, and handy adults into the world. Their future husbands or wives will thank you!

If you’re married, working and parenting, have a heart-to-heart with your spouse to strategize ways both of you can carry the load. Many in my generation were raised by stay-at-home moms, and the “working” spouse had fewer household responsibilities. However, if both spouses are employed outside the home, it’s good to make sure neither of you carries a distinctly larger load. And mama, if you are homeschooling, you are the teacher, principal, lunch lady, and everything in between. You have a full-time job – so share the load with your hubby!

At the end of the day, if you rally the troops, it will make for a happier home.

#5 Stay Connected to Your Superpower

Here’s your ace in the hole. It’s something our culture seems clueless about – faith in a God who empowers you.

He can help you do more than you ever thought you could. Lean into God’s word and prayer. He is your protector, provider, a light to show you the way, and an ever-present help in times of trouble. If your faith hasn’t been front and center for any reason – we will encourage you to look into it again. Read the Gospel of John to refresh your memory – then jump right in by asking Jesus to be Lord of your life. Then, it begins.

By staying connected to your superpower – faith in God, you can stand against those who would challenge your parental rights. You can lead your children confidently, giving them the rock of faith as a foundation to build their lives. I’ve always liked the verse when King David said, “By you I can run against a troop, and by my God I can leap over a wall.” (Psalm 18:29). I keep that one in my back pocket for a challenging or chaotic day.

The world is shaking, and strong faith can make all the difference for our families.

The bottom line is this: the idea of “having it all” is kind of silly. Who decides when we have reached this imaginary pinnacle? No idea. We do know, however, that moms do more with their time and energy than anyone. As a mother, wife, businesswoman, politician, or artist, you are bursting with possibilities. You know your worth as a proud American mom, celebrating the season you’re in, expertly managing the day-to-day whirlwind of activity as you dream of the future.

Podcast Note: Don’t miss our extraordinary conversation on this week’s podcast with the co-founder of Pretty Little Patriot, Pamela Jean Noble, as she talks about life, family, and her many endeavors – including an exciting new fashion clothing line, especially for conservative women that you’ll want to know about!

1 The Atlantic