7 Ways to Beat the Groomers: Raise Your Kids with Healthy Gender Identity
Gender groomers boast the best intentions. After all, they just want to save your child from the struggle and pain of growing up.
It’s snake oil, though, that promises puberty can be painless – and even stopped. All the emotional angst will cease, too, and the child who transitions to their authentic self in a new gender will finally be happy.
That reminds me of something.
A caterpillar.
As far as we can tell, for this little guy, things are pretty straightforward. He crawls around, and according to Eric Carle’s classic The Hungry Little Caterpillar, he eats a lot. And then, he eats even more. Following this several-week-long binge, his whole world becomes enclosed in a cocoon.
In a matter of days, the cocoon begins to break open as its inhabitant struggles mightily to escape. Wrestling, squirming, and shifting – then finally – the payoff. An astounding metamorphosis has occurred, and the butterfly spreads its colorful wings for the first time.
But do you know what happens if you help it out of its cocoon to save it from the struggle to free itself?
It will probably never fly.
That’s a bit like what gender ideology is attempting to do to our children.
Somewhere between participation trophies and our obsession with feelings, our culture has attempted to deprive our kids of the struggle of growing up.
Nowhere is this more obvious than in our gender-crazed schools. The grooming occurs daily in classroom lessons, activities, and school clubs. Entrenched activists push the notion that if a girl of 11 is uncomfortable with any aspect of her body – then she may be, and probably is, transgender.
Remember the bumpy road when you were growing up? I sure do! Embarrassment about braces or acne, or anything that seemed to showcase flaws amid the social politics of middle school. However, we survived 8th grade and worked our way through high school, eventually attaining our own metamorphosis into adulthood. You’ll probably agree – we are stronger for the struggle.
Currently, the dangerous choice to transition is promoted as a way to prevent our kids from feeling any awkwardness, let alone the bad feelings of being picked last in gym class. But they may miss out on the benefits of hardship and struggle.
It might even keep them from learning to fly.
So, how can you guard your children from groomers in our institutions and instill the confidence needed to navigate our hazard-filled culture? It’s a battle for the soul of our nation with our young in the crosshairs, so we’re sharing seven ways to beat the groomers and raise your kids with a healthy gender identity.
1.Start Early Celebrating Your Child’s Gender
It’s never too young to celebrate your daughter – and her beautiful design as a girl.
If you have a son, instill his value as a boy early so that he will develop a strong identity at a very young age.
Being a boy doesn’t mean he has to love trucks any more than your girl must like to cook. Regardless of personality or interests, which vary widely, children experience a stronger sense of security when taught that they were made with intentionality – and it’s great to be a girl! (Or boy!)
As a mom, you can model the good things about being female – your creativity, your strategic mind – your flair for fashion or decorating, or your ability to play basketball. Your husband can bring his son into the world of men, whether he’s into football or not. He’s still in the club and has many places to excel. He may be a future award-winning chef, a lumberjack, an artist, or a dermatologist. No matter what, he can celebrate that he’s all boy!
Our guest on this week’s podcast, Ryan Bomberger, shares two important books recently published to share with your littles, He is He and She is She. In the colorful pages of these picture books, your child can learn more about what it means to be a girl – or boy. Don’t miss hearing his thoughts on the importance of starting early to develop a strong sense of gender identity for our kids.
2. Exercise Media Discernment
It used to be easy to pick out great shows and media for our kids to enjoy. My children are now young adults, but when they were growing up, our go-to’s were Sesame Street, Little Bear, Dragon Tales, Amazing Animals, Blues Clues, and Kipper.
Things have changed a lot since then. Now, streaming and television are a minefield for families. Doing your homework and avoiding danger as much as possible is essential. Disney’s Owl House features LGBTQ themes, as Amazon’s Hazbin Hotel, set in Hell, includes sexual content, blood, and gore.1 Blues Clues is still around but featured a drag queen and pride parade in recent years. Sesame Street brought a transgender Muppet to its young viewers and has featured same-sex couples. So, we can’t take it for granted that shows are family-friendly, though they make that claim.
Christy Terrell-Corbin, University of Maryland, pulled back the curtain on the strategy for indoctrination of the very young. “One of the many wonderful things about young children is they are very accepting – it’s really when they are exposed to attitudes or context where there’s bias that they begin to develop those biases.” 2
They want to teach alternative lifestyles and gender as early and often as possible.
We’re 100% not in Kansas anymore.
Exercise media discernment, use those parental controls, and choose your family’s entertainment wisely.
3. Know Your Kids’ Friends
As your kids grow, get to know their friends and families when possible. Its importance has escalated as the dangers of gender ideology spread like a virus.
Consider making your house the go-to for fun with friends so that you can provide a safe place for the group. In your home, you’ll get to know your kids’ friends and gain a better idea of what’s happening with your kiddos and their pals.
Host a movie night with pizza and popcorn occasionally – and you’ll be toast to the tween crowd.
4. Don’t Let the Virtual World Take Over – Social Media and Smart Phones
This one is big. This theme seemed to emerge in some interviews of de-transitioners on the internet. Daisy Strongin, whose story is featured in the Prager U documentary Detrans: The Dangers of Gender-Affirming Care, recalls countless hours of watching transgender content on YouTube and Tumblr. She marveled at the transformations she saw and finally decided to begin her own to try to become a boy. Now that she’s gone through detransition to reclaim her biological gender, Daisy reflected on her online bingeing, “It’s really dark when you think about it because the people who are consuming this are children, like 13, 14, 15 years old. And it’s so easy for them to literally be groomed.” 3
If your child is mindlessly scrolling on TikTok, YouTube, Tumblr, Deviant Art, Discord, and others – beware. They are likely taking in a steady diet of gender ideology. It’s like meditating on something for hours and hours each day. How could it not affect them?
Added to that is the unhealthy social media obsession. An argument could be made that social media can be used for good – but studies reveal its dark and detrimental influence that is hurting them and increasing the risks of anxiety and depression. 4
Don’t let the virtual world take over. Limit the number of hours spent scrolling on social media and smart phones and try some phone-free family activities, conversations around the dinner table, hiking or biking, and other fun which can build stronger relationships in real life.
One last point about this – if you haven’t given your child a smartphone or tablet yet, consider putting it off as long as possible. Without one, they may not seem like the coolest kid – but they may be the smartest – and probably the safest!
5. Listen Openly, Talk Often (and Don’t Freak Out)
This can be tough. But we must all accept that our kids will be exposed to gender ideology. No matter how much we try to shield them – they will encounter the topics of sexuality, gender ideology, and more. Be a family that openly discusses things.
Suppose a transgender family member will soon attend a holiday gathering. You can initiate a conversation with your child ahead of time, sharing your values with understanding and compassion, then answer any questions your child may have. If your son or daughter knows that you won’t freak out and that open dialogue is welcome in your home, they’ll likely open up to you.
Make time for late-night chats and afternoons at the local coffee shop, and discuss with nothing off limits. Tackle fun topics: movies, music, school, and sports alongside more serious issues, like a classmate asking to be called by a new name and pronouns.
Spend time with your kids and teens. Listen openly, talk often – and whatever topic they bring up – don’t freak out. A welcoming, safe, and loving home environment equals an extra layer of protection for your child.
6. Avoid Public Schools, if Possible
It’s getting bad. Gender ideology, CRT, climate alarmism, and more are putting our kids at risk. Teachers and administrators are becoming well-versed in answering parents with double-talk and misleading information to serve an agenda. If you think nothing like this is happening in your school – we hope you’re right, but don’t bet on it!
Remember our previous podcast with Erin Lee? (See Podcast #2232, “Teacher Tries to Trans Young Girl”) Though in a conservative area of northern Colorado, her daughter was targeted by a teacher to join an after-school “art club” for nefarious reasons. It was actually a gender club with no art at all. An outside presenter managed to convince Erin’s 11-year-old daughter – in three short hours – that she was transgender. Their story is now featured in a documentary called The Art Club.5
There are options out there, so if you can find a way to pull your kids from public school – it’s worth serious consideration. We have lots of information available for education options, including homeschooling.
7. Build a Vibrant Family Faith
The Bible is clear about identity. Your kids need to know that they are fearfully and wonderfully made. The Creator who loves them designed each with beautiful intent – and there will always be hope – because God will never leave them alone.
In contrast to that, the gender ideology assertion is that their innocent child victims were “born in the wrong body.” It’s outrageous.
That’s something that God has never said about anyone. Ever.
If your family’s faith life needs a boost, consider joining a vibrant church and participating in activities and groups. Read the Bible together and pray as a family. Teach your kids that they are special – without a doubt – and that they are made unique and one-of-a-kind.
Repeat those affirming messages throughout their childhood so they’ll take root in their hearts.
The Bible gives us the example of the man who built his house on the rock – and another who built on sand. When the storms and winds beat on those structures, the unstable house collapsed, while the one secured on a solid foundation stood firm. Give your kids the rock of faith in Jesus, building a life for them that can withstand the storms of adolescence.
We may not like them – but we need the struggles of life, and so do our kids.
Don’t be afraid if your child has a bad day or week. Growing up can be messy. You are a source of calm strength they can lean on when things are tough. Giving them the tools and courage to weather challenges to their worldview is better than protecting them from every ill wind.
You were specially chosen by God to raise your amazing children. You have what it takes, mama, and you know what to do. Our kids will bring character, faith, and courage, contrasting the darkness and despair of a gender-confused society. And when they endure their struggle of growing into the person God made them to be – they will fly.
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